Interpersonal conflicts are part and parcel of everyday
life. As long as we continue to live in a interconnected and interdependent
world, our actions or inactions will always have an impact on others. Sometimes,
the way we handle a situation without due consideration, albeit
unintentionally, may give rise to tensions or sore points in our personal
relationships with others. Thus, it is necessary to understand how to resolve
such interpersonal conflicts.
During the Chinese New Year festive season, something
happened to me which keep me wondering how I could have handled the situation
better. I was attending a Chinese New Year ‘Lou Hei’ dinner with many of our
friends. As I turned up late for the dinner, I had not paid the organizer the
money for the dinner yet and was thinking of doing it after the dinner, since
everyone is already enjoying his or her dinner.
In the middle of my second course, I was shocked to hear someone
yell my name, “ who is Tan Si Kai? Owe money pay money!” I quickly ran up to
make payment to the organizer but the damage had been done. Imagine how
embarrassing it is to have your name called out for all 114 people present at
the restaurant to hear, especially the way I was singled out. At the end of the
dinner, the person who yelled my name came over sheepishly to apologize to me
while I was talking with a group of people. He explained that he was just
helping the organizer to call out those people who had not paid. I was
not ready to react to what he had to say, but not wanting to spoil the festive
mode of the season and for him to take this incident to heart, I graciously
accepted his apology and joked that I thought he wanted to call me out to
perform and entertain the crowd.
Hence, from this incident, we can understand that sometimes,
we may end up on the receiving end of certain social missteps, and we have to
react in the best way possible in the heat of the moment. If given a chance to
react to the situation again, I think I might have given a few witty rejoinders
in response to him yelling out my name so as to turn an embarrassing scenario
for the both of us into a rather entertaining and comical act so as to dissolve
the tension. If you were in my shoes, how would you react? If you were the guy
who did not handle the situation in the best way possible, what would you do to
salvage the situation?
Hi, Jerry, good job, it's a nice story.
ReplyDeleteA few points I want to point out:
firstly, i think your story is too detailed, as we can see that more than half of the entire essay is describing the story. You may cut down your story, and focus more on how to resolve interpersonal conflict
next, the case which you used in this essay is not so appropriate. the topic is about interpersonal conflict, but I do not see a really conflict here, so if you agree with my point, you may choose a better example.
anyway, it's my pleasure to read your post =)
Thanks for your candid comments. I do agree that there is room for more elaboration in the resolution of conflict portion. However, I think personally, it is an incident which resulted in a tense and awkward situation for myself. Some of my friends present at the dinner felt that I was treated unfairly.
DeleteMaybe someone else in ES2007S can shed a different perspective on this?
Hi Jerry, indeed there is a point of conflict here in terms of behaviour that's acceptable in polite company and that which is not. What the organizer's helper did was inappropriate for that place and time!! However, Renfei does have a point about the length of your post- try and keep it to 300 words. Also perhaps you could have said what he should have done to avoid embarrasing you and still help out the organizer. On your part- I think you handled the awkward situation well.
ReplyDeleteDear Jerry,
ReplyDeleteThe conflict mentioned in your story is not a 'physical clash' but rather more of a 'emotional-clash'. Yes, it still counts as a interpersonal conflict as the other party was inconsiderate and 'made you lose face'!
Although the organiser was rude, he knows he is in the wrong and apologised to you. I would too accept his apology instead of creating a heated argument. I suppose that is the right thing to do.
Sometimes taking matters like a 'pinch of salt' may help reduce our grievance! The chinese proverb ‘ 大事化小小事化了’ (da shi hua xiao, xiao shi hua liao) meaning from big problems we reduce to smaller problems and from small problems they disappear. Interpersonal communication is rather to convey messages in a light and courteous manner instead of blowing it up.
If you are a close friend of organiser, you could have let him know how you felt because accepting an apology for the sake of accepting feels superficial.
Regards,
Nigel