Blog Post 4: What is your legacy?

The end of the semester is here.

It has been an enriching journey in interpersonal skills and communications for me. Besides learning in theory, how to interact with friends from other cultural backgrounds, I get to put what I have learnt into practice by being in a classroom with classmates from diverse nationalities. I have also learnt to look out for the different facets of communications and interpret subconscious non-verbal communications clues when dealing with other people so that I may understand them better. The research proposal project has given me a chance to take a look into a problem that Singapore faces but is overlooked everyday and know about the unsung heroes tackling the problem of food waste.

However, the most inspiring lesson that I took away from this module came at the end, when Madam Radhika talked about building the brand 'you' and communicating that brand to the public and we can  build trust with the people we come into contact with. While many students may not see the need for doing that right now, but I do have aspirations to achieve more than just getting a degree during my time in NUS. I am aware of the full potential that human beings can achieve on one hand, and the multitude of challenges that humanity face on the other. More often than not, it takes great teamwork and tremendous fighting spirit of whole organisations to tackle the most pressing issues of our time, or to achieve the next breakthrough in technology. Such organised effort do not come by easily, and it does not come by naturally. If we examine the greatest civilisations in history and the greatest companies that are in existence today, it takes strong leadership to be able to set the direction and inspire action for thousands of people. For those who are being led, they must trust the leader to act in their best interests. Hence, it is important that we master the skills of communication, to be able to embody integrity, communicate intent, achieve credibility and deliver results. This goes towards building trust with our friends and partners. In the long term, being in a high trust network enables us to achieve more with less.

While communication is a very important skill set, it is useful to the extent that our intentions behind our words are well. It was highlighted in Stephen Covey's book, 7 habits of the highly effective person, that most of the literature on personal development today is on techniques, while much of the literature in the past was on character building. To draw an analogy, back in Socrates' time in Ancient Greece, there were two schools of thought. The sophists would deliver dramatic but empty speeches to manipulate the audience while Socrates would reason in cold but convincing logic. The students of the sophists wrangled power in Athenian politics while the students of Socrates blossomed to inspire Western thought and philosophy which we continue to benefit from till today. This reminds us that while having effective communication skills is important, we need to develop the strong character base in order to put these skills to good use.

I would like to leave readers with one thought. If you have the power to communicate effectively and persuade people to any cause, what would you stand up for? If you were to be lying on your deathbed many years from now, surrounded by your friends and family, what would you want to leave behind? What do you want to be remembered for?

Grab the chance to do something meaningful while there is still time.

Jerry Tan Si Kai

Blog Post 3: Reflection on Research Proposal, Triumphs, Learning Points and how to move on...

We have finally submitted our written proposal and delivered the oral presentation. The end of the semester is drawing near and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It has been an exhausting yet enriching experience as we embarked on the journey to find out about issues that concern not just NUS community, but also Singaporeans in general. In retrospect, there were areas we had done well, things we have learnt which will serve us well for the rest of our lives and definitely areas of improvement which could take our research to the next level for more serious consideration by the relevant authorities.

Firstly, it was amazing how we managed to pull together a well-researched and well thought out proposal on food wastage in Singapore even though there is a non-Singaporean in our group. Initially, there were difficulties in understanding due to cultural background differences. Yumeng came to Singapore just less than 2 years ago and it is not fair to expect her to be familiar with Singapore issues. However, Jia Jian and I took care to make sure she understood what we are working on and the background information relevant to the topic so that we can move forward as a team. For that, I am really thankful for the teamwork and would like to thank Jia Jian and Yumeng for their cooperation and initiative.

Next, we have gained valuable knowledge in terms of the situation of food waste in Singapore and the current measures being done to alleviate it. Prior to this project, I was not aware of the existence of Non-profit Organizations like Singapore Environmental Council (SEC) which is responsible for so many successful campaigns like Eco-food courts certification in Singapore. Furthermore, the more important thing that I have learnt is to understand your audience before any presentation and know how to appeal to their interests in order for them to be receptive to our call to action.

Lastly, certain solutions in our proposal held promise as they sparked many questions from the audience after our oral presentation. In particular, the idea of selling ugly fruits and vegetables in a separate section in supermarkets generated interest among the audience. In our interview with an official with National Environmental Agency (NEA), she also said that the idea sounds good if public perceptions can be changed. Customer surveys can be carried out to find out whether they would purchase deformed fruits and vegetables at a discount and we can proceed to propose to supermarkets to carry out pilot tests in certain outlets to gauge consumers' response. If consumers react positively to this initiative, it can be implemented in more outlets across Singapore. This would certainly help to reduce food waste dramatically in the long term.

In conclusion, I am glad to be given the chance to work on and contribute to a topic that is often overlooked by a developed economy. It has benefited me greatly in terms of knowledge and skill set. In future, when I am faced with a situation of presenting a proposal to resistant audiences, I would definitely remember what I had learnt in this module.

Evaluating Intercultural Communication

In a cosmopolitan country like Singapore, it is important to be aware of the differences in communication style and behavioral norms across different cultures. In fact, gaining such an understanding can help to avoid potential conflicts and improve relationship building skills with people of different cultural backgrounds.

I was at a pubcrawl held recently on a Friday evening.  There was a group of Brazilian guys who were very friendly and rowdy. One of the guys, Thiago, was particular dashing and charming with the ladies. While the Singaporean guys would hold their drinks and talk in a gentlemanly fashion with the ladies, he would jump about in an excited manner and drag them to dance with him. Social barriers and personal space was virtually non-existent to him. I could see that the European ladies were particularly entertained by him. However, the same cannot be said of this Singaporean lady. He went up to her to strike up a conversation. As I was standing a distance away, I could not hear their conversation over the loud bar music. The lady was giggling shortly after. As a new song came on, Thiago got so excited that he kissed the girl behind the ear, dragged her to the dance floor and … ( I am aware that the blog post calls for detailed description of the process but I think some details here are best left to the imagination J )

The Singaporean lady was taken aback by this sudden advance and she pushed herself away from Thiago and went back to the safety of her lady friends.

After talking to some of the Brazilian guys, I got to understand that the Brazilians are particularly passionate. It is in their nature, even normal, to party at night and be physically intimate with girls they just met. To them, it is just their way of socializing. However, to the Singaporean ladies, they prefer physical distance and getting to know the other party better before being comfortable with more physical intimacy. Even so, that same behaviour is welcomed and loved by the European ladies who enjoyed their night out. A French lady told me the difference between Asian and European men is that Asian guys are too shy.

This small incident taught me the different expectations that ladies of different nationalities have of men, particularly how different cultures show their love and passion for each other. It is an interesting lesson in making friends from different borders. J

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Interpersonal conflicts are part and parcel of everyday life. As long as we continue to live in a interconnected and interdependent world, our actions or inactions will always have an impact on others. Sometimes, the way we handle a situation without due consideration, albeit unintentionally, may give rise to tensions or sore points in our personal relationships with others. Thus, it is necessary to understand how to resolve such interpersonal conflicts.

During the Chinese New Year festive season, something happened to me which keep me wondering how I could have handled the situation better. I was attending a Chinese New Year ‘Lou Hei’ dinner with many of our friends. As I turned up late for the dinner, I had not paid the organizer the money for the dinner yet and was thinking of doing it after the dinner, since everyone is already enjoying his or her dinner.  In the middle of my second course, I was shocked to hear someone yell my name, “ who is Tan Si Kai? Owe money pay money!” I quickly ran up to make payment to the organizer but the damage had been done. Imagine how embarrassing it is to have your name called out for all 114 people present at the restaurant to hear, especially the way I was singled out. At the end of the dinner, the person who yelled my name came over sheepishly to apologize to me while I was talking with a group of people. He explained that he was just helping the organizer to call out those people who had not paid. I was not ready to react to what he had to say, but not wanting to spoil the festive mode of the season and for him to take this incident to heart, I graciously accepted his apology and joked that I thought he wanted to call me out to perform and entertain the crowd.

Hence, from this incident, we can understand that sometimes, we may end up on the receiving end of certain social missteps, and we have to react in the best way possible in the heat of the moment. If given a chance to react to the situation again, I think I might have given a few witty rejoinders in response to him yelling out my name so as to turn an embarrassing scenario for the both of us into a rather entertaining and comical act so as to dissolve the tension. If you were in my shoes, how would you react? If you were the guy who did not handle the situation in the best way possible, what would you do to salvage the situation?